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When the calm go crazy...

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5th June 2013

9:30am: Meh.
Black hole

There is a place
Where secrets can be kept
In plain sight

This place is visible as a whole
Yet there are many secrets which it hides
From those who would want to see

The emotions it evokes
Are sometimes those we would rather not feel
Yet we do because whatever you find
Through purpose or chance
Can affect you
And there is no turning back
Current Mood: confused

16th December 2012

12:34pm: Kelly Hu
She is GORGEOUS, 44 and SINGLE.

DAFUQ?!
Current Mood: In love

29th November 2012

12:27am: Work
The people at work can't organize anything. It's like that meme.

"We saw you have a shitload of work to do so we found another shitload of work for you to do at the same time as the other shitload of work to do so you can worry about that shitload of work to do while you do the other shitload of work you originally had to do"

Yeah. Fucking MORONS. Now the other guy has to do shit on his own because I have other shit to do already before he asked me to assist and they scheduled other shit and ethics training (whatever the fuck that is) which I missed because they only emailed, no phone call about it, and I was busy with my work.

REALLY?! For fuck's sake. JESUS. CHRIST.

Idiots.
Current Mood: aggravated

12th November 2012

12:14am: Something stupid!
I'm going to do something insane. Something I haven't done in my.... um.... 7 years of web surfing. Nervous? Fuck yes! But what's life without excitement, adventure, mystery and, best of all, mistakes. It all helps us grow and we create our future through everything we do. At the moment mine looks kinda bleak so screw it, throw caution to the wind (again)!

This is me telling myself, "Nooooooooooooo you silly rabbit! You haven't done it until now and you still shouldn't!" and then waiting until the moment I say to myself, "I told you so you dumb shit." Between those two events anything can happen.

So I'll let it. EEEEEUUUUUUURRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH. Click click! WHOOP! Maybe? Uhhhhhhhhh. I hope so?
Nope. "Hope is for suckers detective." You see me rollin'. You hatin'. YEAH.
Current Mood: curious

6th January 2012

1:23am: Solitary
Who posts on Livejournal anymore?

People who want someone to know what's happening even though no one will ever read it.

I had THE best week of my life. Now she's gone back to where she lives and it's killing me.

Almost none of my friends want to do anything. I have asked so I know I'M trying to do something about my loneliness. ONE friend will hang out with me and fortunately it's my best friend. Well, one of two, but that's irrelevant right now.

Now it's Friday and my weekend is going to mostly be horrible. I have things to do but they just aren't as exciting without that one special person.

At least I will be busy this year trying to improve my standard of living so that will ease the pain and hopefully bring me closer to her. Who knows? It might just work.

Time to sleep now and dream of her until I wake up alone.
Current Mood: lonely

2nd November 2011

10:04pm: Like a knife, it was
This is pain:

Your best friend's mom considers you part of the family.
Your best friend goes in for a heart transplant.
Her mom says she'll call to update.
You hear nothing and then get information on the situation THIRD-HAND.
It rips your heart right out to know that nobody considers you important enough to call when your best friend is in ICU after a heart transplant.
Current Mood: lonely

9th April 2010

1:14pm: Ignorance is not bliss. Getting paid to do nothing for a day is absolute bliss.
This is awesome. I'm getting paid to use the internet and not do any work all day!

Though I'm sure if the company knew about this they would be a tad upset.

But....

It's not like I can go anywhere without my car and there's nothing to do here. There's no one to drive me as my usual driver is picking up his wife so they can get to hospital and have a BABY!

Gosh, I want children.

I'm so bored. I'm going to look at more funny stuff on lamebook.com.
Current Mood: calm

6th April 2010

2:13pm: Work and such
I'm just sitting in my chair doing, well, nothing. Except this and living. Without a car life really isn't that great. I cannot wait to get it back and start driving again. I miss it a lot. Plus I'll get to work more which I actually enjoy (when things go smoothly).
Current Mood: bored

1st April 2010

3:02pm: It's been a while....
24 days short of an entire YEAR since I last posted here. So much has happened.

1. I have a job with lots of room for growth and opportunity and I can learn so much working here.
2. I've found someone I want to spend my life with and who wants to spend their life with me.
3. I've had 2 car accidents, one caused by a blackout so I'm on meds for epilepsy.

I'm sure there is lots more, but those are the top ones.

Oh, yes, I've also been horribly drunk once and my girlfriend was so scared I was going to die she took me to get my stomach pumped but was advised to give me an energy drink which made me throw up. I AM NEVER EVER GETTING DRUNK AGAIN. Tipsy is my limit.

Ah, I also spent all of my money (and I mean ALL of it!). So I am starting over completely financially which will be a challenge, but a good one and a lesson learned.
RETAIL THERAPY IS AMAZING BUT THERE IS A LIMIT TO EVERYTHING.

So life at the moment is very good but there are always bumps and rifts and fluctuations and I can think of all sorts of metaphors for change but won't go through my extensive list.
Current Mood: content

25th April 2009

4:14pm: Oh my GAWD.
Ever since the first time I watched How I Met Your Mother it has been the funniest and most legen-

-wait for it-

-and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second part of that word is-

DARY (!) show I have ever seen.

Then one day I downloaded an episode that just wasn't as funny.

But today I watched episodes 19 and 20 of season 4 and HOLY CRAPSTICKS. I laughed so hard I cried!

Excerpt:

Marshall: "Hey, Food Guy!"

Barney: "Hey, Toy Guy!"

Marshall: "Who's that guy?"

Barney: "He doesn't work here. I think we should leave the building."

Marshall: "Really?"

Barney: "This has happened before."

I'm still laughing half an hour later just thinking about it!
Current Mood: MUCHO AMUSED.

16th April 2009

10:22pm: Tracing pathways through the nerves of my consciousness
Indeed, today was the day.

It was the day that I felt winter approaching.
The season I have come to loathe.

In other news, good and at the same time somewhat disturbing, Neil Patrick Harris starred in Law and Order: Criminal Intent.
He played.... well, he played me to the extreme. It was a different role to what he usually does. It was so sad and lonely. He pulled it off though.
I feel like that could have been me, the character he played. And it makes me fear the future. It makes me fear doing anything at all because accidents can happen, mistakes can be made, things might never be safe again.

But oh well.
Current Mood: gloomy

5th April 2009

3:20pm: Winning and losing
That's what life is about. And today.... I won!

Some things you blog about, some you don't. I'm not going to go into great depth but let us just say.... time has not done someone any favours with regards to appearance and yet it seems to have gifted ME with awesome good looks. ME, of all people. I WIN.

Of course looks are still not everything but, honestly, do you want to date someone ugly? :D
Current Mood: pleased

16th March 2009

5:51pm: What a day!
At least the kicking of my brother is now a guiltless affair. He stole my French toast! The bugger.
Plus I was fucking hungry since I only had 2 slices of toast earlier this morning.

Why did I not eat earlier?
Well, you see, it was raining and thought I would visit my friends at college. Unfortunately I left my lights on. The battery died and I didn't realize the immobilizer was messing everything up so the car wouldn't start.
My friends wouldn't have known about that but they helped me anyway.
I had to call my dad and he figured it out so I got home really late.

It was a good day though. I have a challenge ahead now; should be exciting!
I'm psyched about tomorrow.

Ah, it feels good to have food in me.
Current Mood: determined

12th March 2009

11:21am: Spelling
Incorrect spelling annoys me greatly. If they are typos or honest mistakes then I can just correct and let it go.

Then along comes a professional website with a huge link saying "VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURATE ADS!"

Really.... a drinking yoghurt (or is that yogurt?) company that has text on every label on every bottle and obviously has graphic designers who REALLY SHOULD KNOW HOW TO SPELL.

If we're going to use a language we can at least use it correctly.

Photobucket
Current Mood: bored

10th March 2009

2:12pm: And if I had a choice....
I do in some ways.

I had a choice whether to post this here or on.... Facebook. I decided here was better since Facebook is pathetic and the notes function is not taken seriously enough.
It's like MySpace over there. Eurgh.

I've been cleaning out my room, getting rid of old junk and making it look a lot cleaner so I can actually enjoy living in it.

I've come across some odd, interesting and possibly life-altering things.

One: I found a list I wrote about talking. It was probably as punishment but I thought it was an interesting find since I have no memory of ever writing it.

Two: I found some old pieces of art that I have decided to keep and do up nicely in Photoshop. They could be good for my portfolio.

Three: documentation about something fictional that seems to predict our immediate future. I'll be reading through that completely later on.

Four: a schoolbook of my brother's. It must be from grade one or two. In it he wrote, "I don't like it when my brother kicks me." Shit....

Those are the highlights of cleaning out my room. There's been some other stuff but mostly just rubbish that is getting thrown out or recycled.

Now to make another choice....
Current Mood: okay

2nd March 2009

11:49pm: Three months and I'm still sober....
Three months exactly today since what I thought was a date.

But alas.... fate is not so kind.

And yet angels do return, if you will them to. Then you just have to figure out how to handle a complicated situation.

All around me the world moves and here I sit, as still as a hot windless day. Oh, what to do?

I know the feeling. Now I just have to find someone who gives me the feeling and gets the feeling from me.

*sigh*

Simple spirituality cannot guide us through this weird world. We have to become something other than what we are or were meant to be.

Why am I like this? Why am I different? How can I be the one to change the world?

Too many questions, too little time.
Current Mood: contemplative

12th January 2009

12:16am: Dieter Rabbit
There are actually rabbits called Dieter. How cute is that?!

http://www.saveabunny.org/?q=node/4686

http://uk.myzooclub.com/small-animals/rabbit/ascheberg/dieter/1466175

I wish I could adopt them!
Current Mood: tired

24th December 2008

10:26pm: Merry christmas
To those who celebrate it!

To those who don't, merry random day of religious stuff based on paganism!
Current Mood: tired
8:41pm: See me fall, see me rise....
Today I went to the funeral of a definite friend. Obviously I wasn't the one crying as death is not sad to me. It is intensely beautiful to me. It is the only certain thing and part of the process of existing in our universe.

Jason, I bet you're partying it up all over the world tonight and getting spiritually trashed. When I do the same I'll be thinking of you and how you pushed me two years ago so that I would experience severe depression and then realize there was more to life than that and pick myself up, improve myself and come to this point where I can do anything. Thanks buddy! Miss you always.

Forward march!
Current Mood: thankful

18th December 2008

6:59pm: Discovery
Yes, I have "discovered" a new artist to listen to. I knew about her already but had no clue she could sing.

Introducing the one and only Hayden Panettiere (mostly of Heroes fame). She can sing and makes cool music. It might be girly pop/rock music but it's catchy so I don't give a crap.
The only sucky thing is that as far as I know she hasn't released her solo debut album yet. Come on already! :D
Current Mood: calm

13th December 2008

9:44pm: So I really enjoy making mixes....
Yes I do. I've made several, some better than others.

My latest mix tops them all. It's a cheerful one!

Alright, so it starts off on a neutral-leaning-towards-sombre note but it's a sort of prelude to the cheerfulness of the rest of it.

And without further ado here is the tracklist:

1) James Carrington - Ache
2) Remy Zero - Whither Vulcan
3) Pinback - Penelope
4) Spin Doctors - How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Can Have Me)
5) Rascal Flatts - Feels Like Today
6) Peter Gabriel - Solsbury Hill
7) Stars - The First Five Times
8) Jason Mraz - The Remedy
9) Tahiti 80 - Better Days Will Come
10) Kimberley Locke - 8th World Wonder
11) Lifehouse - Hanging By A Moment
12) The Reindeer Section - You Are My Joy
13) Hanson - Penny & Me
14) Powderfinger - My Happiness
15) Live - Heaven
16) Modest Mouse - Float On
17) U2 - Beautiful Day

:D
Current Mood: accomplished

2nd December 2008

6:56pm: A new journey.
So today was the first day of my new journey.

It may not have been the best start but it was a start nonetheless.

And now I can move on to other things knowing that I took my chance.

I see it not as failure but as a sort of bitter success that I shall look back on and never regret.

Love was not meant for me. There are other things to embrace and I shall do my best in this life.

I feel almost godlike. I can make my life what I want it to be.
Current Mood: determined

1st December 2008

7:25pm: Yes.
Tomorrow life takes a turn I could never have foreseen or expected but what an amazing turn it shall be!

Christ, I'm so fucking nervous.

Eep!
Current Mood: nervous

30th November 2008

12:45am: Two years.
Two years of waiting.

Two years of patience.

Two years of fixing myself.

Two years of changing myself to become who I wanted to be.

Two years of learning.

Two years of moving towards a state of complete happiness.

Two years of passing opportunities by knowing that eventually the right time would come.

Two years have finally led to the greatest time of my life.
Current Mood: excited
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